Deployment day is almost here....
The words anyone facing a deployment hates to hear. Sean is less then 20 days away from deploying for 12 months. My living room and bedroom looks like the Army threw up all over the place. There are footlockers, ruck sacks, uniforms, kevlar and alot of stuff everywhere. This means that the day is that much closer. Sean is packing.
There is alot of tension and stress in the house. Everyone, even the kids, are on edge. There are times when he is gathering his items together, it is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. There are others when he stress takes over and voices are raised at each other. These are things that I have learned come along with the deployment. There are moments of anger, sadness and jealousy. There are moments of closeness, of just a simple hand hold while watching a movie.
I have begun to get emotional, sometimes at the worst times. I can be driving down the street when a sad song comes on the radio and the tears start pouring down my face. I am trying to be strong when Sean is around, I don't want to him to see me fall apart, but it is not easy. Sometimes I just lay in bed at night and listen to him sleep just because I can - at least for another few weeks.
I am proud to be the wife of a Soldier!
I am proud of the job that my husband does - even though it takes him far from home for a long period of time.
I am proud of my children who are handling this so well.
We will have bad days, days where the tears will flow endlessly.
We will have good days, days where there will be laughter, smiles and joy.
There will be nights where I won't mind when the kids want to climb into bed with me, it comforts me just as much as them.
There will be days that I don't want to get out of bed.
But I will.
I will go on.
I will be strong for my kids.
I will be strong for my husband.
I will be strong for myself.
We will all make it through this deployment, each doing our part. So for now, I will enjoy watching and listening to Sean sleep (yes even listening to him snore), I will enjoy holding his hand, I will even enjoy the arguements that come because soon I will be wishing he was there to argue with, and I will thank God for every day we have together. These memories are what will get me through the next 12 months.
So in a few days we will have his going away party. Our friends and family will gather and we will eat, drink and dance the night away. Everyone will wish Sean a safe journey and a speedy return. So for now, that is far ahead as I am looking. When the celebration is over, then I will focus on the next step - the day he leaves.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
The countdown continues....
Yes the countdown continues! ! ! We are down to just about 50 days, the funny part is that for the next 20+ days HE ISN'T HOME! Yes although they are deploying soon, the unit is in the final training prior to leaving for deployment. So we are spending the month of June apart, but hey we have all of July to spend together with the kids & family so that's what matters.
As I look back I would rather go back to 2007 when Sean called me on Monday and said "honey I am deploying to Iraq - and I am leaving next Monday"! Everything was so rushed I didn't have time to think about what was happening, it just happened. Once he was gone I had time to sit and think about it. This time, having a year to prepare, the anticipation is horrible! Last deployment it took a few months before I stared crying at sad movies & commercials. This time he is not even gone and it has already started (not that I would admit that to him though LOL).
So for the month of June - I will keep busy with the kids and work until he comes home.
In July - we will celebrate with friends and family members for the 4th of July with picnics, BBQ's and of course we will give Sean one heck of a going away party!
Then when the time comes, the kids and I will take Sean to the airport, put on as strong a front as we can, try our best to hold back the tears and with a heavy heart put him on a plane to begin his time away from home. We will watch his plane taxi down the runway and take off, all the time hoping and praying that this is not the last time we see him.
(On a side note I have to tell you, I attended Sean's cousins wedding a few weeks back and learned something that the lovely bride does; when she ends a phone call or is seeing someone off after a visit - she does not say goodbye! She chooses other words; see you soon, until next time, see you later etc. I think that, especially during the time that Sean is away, this is something I am going to adapt. Goodbye is so final, I don't want to leave every conversation with him with a finality.)
So for now, I will look at the empty pillow in my bed and know soon that he will be home. A small relief because I know that it is only for a short time and then he is going for a year. I will make the best of every phone call and every minute we share together. I will cry at sad movies and commercials, and I will love him more & more everyday.
So, until next time....
As I look back I would rather go back to 2007 when Sean called me on Monday and said "honey I am deploying to Iraq - and I am leaving next Monday"! Everything was so rushed I didn't have time to think about what was happening, it just happened. Once he was gone I had time to sit and think about it. This time, having a year to prepare, the anticipation is horrible! Last deployment it took a few months before I stared crying at sad movies & commercials. This time he is not even gone and it has already started (not that I would admit that to him though LOL).
So for the month of June - I will keep busy with the kids and work until he comes home.
In July - we will celebrate with friends and family members for the 4th of July with picnics, BBQ's and of course we will give Sean one heck of a going away party!
Then when the time comes, the kids and I will take Sean to the airport, put on as strong a front as we can, try our best to hold back the tears and with a heavy heart put him on a plane to begin his time away from home. We will watch his plane taxi down the runway and take off, all the time hoping and praying that this is not the last time we see him.
(On a side note I have to tell you, I attended Sean's cousins wedding a few weeks back and learned something that the lovely bride does; when she ends a phone call or is seeing someone off after a visit - she does not say goodbye! She chooses other words; see you soon, until next time, see you later etc. I think that, especially during the time that Sean is away, this is something I am going to adapt. Goodbye is so final, I don't want to leave every conversation with him with a finality.)
So for now, I will look at the empty pillow in my bed and know soon that he will be home. A small relief because I know that it is only for a short time and then he is going for a year. I will make the best of every phone call and every minute we share together. I will cry at sad movies and commercials, and I will love him more & more everyday.
So, until next time....
Thursday, May 6, 2010
The Countdown Begins......
Well the time has come to start actually counting down the days. We have just about 80+ days left til he deploys, as Sean so lovingly reminded me last night. (Which of course, was not that nice of him!)
So now the crunch begins. Make sure all your paperwork is in order, Wills, Power of Attorney...etc. If you don't have one already, make sure you get the paperwork started for your passport, because GOD FORBID, something happens you need to be able to join him in Germany if he gets injured. Make sure all your important documents for insurance and car loans, mortgage and bank accounts are in one spot and easily accessible should you need them.
It is finally sinking in that he is leaving soon. I laid in bed the other night and it finally hit me. I am going to be a single mother again for 12 months. WOW! This was the first time that I think I actually let myself think about it. HE IS LEAVING IN 80+ DAYS! CRAP! What am I going to do with myself?
I know that the Family Readiness Group (FRG) will take up alot of my time, so will work and of course the kids; but what do I do when I am sitting alone in bed at night wishing I could talk to him about my day? UGH Those are the moments that I hate. When the day is done, the kids are in bed, and it is just ME.
It's that time when I wish that I could talk to him, tell him how my day went. Even now when he is home, I find it hard to talk to him about the things that are bothering me in my daily grind. He is so busy trying to get everything done that he needs to before he deploys that I don't want to burden him with my problems. They seem so trivial compared to what he is going through.
I cherish the times that I have him home with me to share our bed, I know soon there will be an empty pillow next to me. I lie awake at night sometimes just watching him sleep, because it is that small pleasure of him sleeping so peacefully next to me that I will miss for the next year.
I don't complain about how dirty his uniform is, because for a year I won't have a uniform to wash.
I don't complain when he leaves his socks on the floor instead of putting them in the basket, because soon his socks will all be neatly put away in the drawer collecting dust along with the rest of his clothes.
I don't complain when he leaves dirty dishes in the sink, because it is just one more thing that I will miss once he is gone.
I cherish every passing moment we are together knowing soon the only contact we will have will be scattered phone calls & a few emails. Soon we will say our goodbye and for a year my heart will ache for my best friend, my partner and my love.
I WILL make it through.
I WILL remain strong for my family.
But at night when the world is asleep - I will pray that he is ok. I will pray he comes home safe. I will pray that God watches over him and all the other soldiers that he serves with and brings them all home to those who wait.
So now the crunch begins. Make sure all your paperwork is in order, Wills, Power of Attorney...etc. If you don't have one already, make sure you get the paperwork started for your passport, because GOD FORBID, something happens you need to be able to join him in Germany if he gets injured. Make sure all your important documents for insurance and car loans, mortgage and bank accounts are in one spot and easily accessible should you need them.
It is finally sinking in that he is leaving soon. I laid in bed the other night and it finally hit me. I am going to be a single mother again for 12 months. WOW! This was the first time that I think I actually let myself think about it. HE IS LEAVING IN 80+ DAYS! CRAP! What am I going to do with myself?
I know that the Family Readiness Group (FRG) will take up alot of my time, so will work and of course the kids; but what do I do when I am sitting alone in bed at night wishing I could talk to him about my day? UGH Those are the moments that I hate. When the day is done, the kids are in bed, and it is just ME.
It's that time when I wish that I could talk to him, tell him how my day went. Even now when he is home, I find it hard to talk to him about the things that are bothering me in my daily grind. He is so busy trying to get everything done that he needs to before he deploys that I don't want to burden him with my problems. They seem so trivial compared to what he is going through.
I cherish the times that I have him home with me to share our bed, I know soon there will be an empty pillow next to me. I lie awake at night sometimes just watching him sleep, because it is that small pleasure of him sleeping so peacefully next to me that I will miss for the next year.
I don't complain about how dirty his uniform is, because for a year I won't have a uniform to wash.
I don't complain when he leaves his socks on the floor instead of putting them in the basket, because soon his socks will all be neatly put away in the drawer collecting dust along with the rest of his clothes.
I don't complain when he leaves dirty dishes in the sink, because it is just one more thing that I will miss once he is gone.
I cherish every passing moment we are together knowing soon the only contact we will have will be scattered phone calls & a few emails. Soon we will say our goodbye and for a year my heart will ache for my best friend, my partner and my love.
I WILL make it through.
I WILL remain strong for my family.
But at night when the world is asleep - I will pray that he is ok. I will pray he comes home safe. I will pray that God watches over him and all the other soldiers that he serves with and brings them all home to those who wait.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Slowly getting there....
I know it has been a while since I last posted but because we are still in the preparation stage not much has been happening. Sean has been gone here and there...a few days in Indiana, a few days in Maryland, now he is going back to Indiana 2 days before we leave for our early "summer" vacation. It gets a little stressful knowing that this is just the prelude to what is coming, but at the same time during these trips I know he will be home in a few days.
We decided to take our "summer" vacation early this year because of the deployment, so in 12 days we are heading down to Florida for 6 days to enjoy the sunshine and hit Universal Studios and Disney World. We went 5 years ago when the kids were smaller but time it has a whole new meaning! This time we know that this is the beginning of the countdown to his leaving. I plan to take every photo opportunity while we are all together, for the next year that is what we will have to hold onto. To remember this trip even more I had t-shirts made for all 5 of us. I know it's a little corny and I am sure the kids will role their eyes and call me "that mom" (you know the mom who always makes the kids dress the same so they don't get lost), but this is for a different reason. This is our last trip together before this deployment, and who knows (as much as I don't like to dwell on the bad) it could be our last trip together. I want to make sure that we get everything we can out of the time we spend together.
I also took the opportunity to contact Operation Love Reunited, who got me in touch with a photographer who is going to do a photo shoot with the family - FOR FREE!!! We have NEVER had a professional photo shoot done (unless you count Sears Photo Studio) it will be a wonderful thing to have for each of the kids to have some great pictures with Sean before he leaves, something they can hold onto and look at each day to remember the love he has for each of them.
It's hard to believe that we are only 3-4 months away from his deployment. It seems like just yesterday I was saying it was 7 months away. Time is flying by. I am purchasing personalized journals for each of the kids in the hopes that they will take the time to write down how they are feeling to better cope with the deployment. I have purchased one for myself also, there are some things I just can't put out there for all of you to read. I remember the last time he was deployed and how lonely I felt, I am hoping that the journal will help ease some of that loneliness.
On top of helping myself and the kids get through this deployment, I have taken on the job of Chairperson of the Family Readiness Group for Sean's unit. This means that I will be responsible for keeping up the morale of the other soldier's families as well as my own, even if it is only for a 2 hour meeting once a month. I hope that focusing on the FRG Group, the kids and work will make the year fly by.
Until the next post - May God Bless and watch over all our military serving near and far and their families. <3
We decided to take our "summer" vacation early this year because of the deployment, so in 12 days we are heading down to Florida for 6 days to enjoy the sunshine and hit Universal Studios and Disney World. We went 5 years ago when the kids were smaller but time it has a whole new meaning! This time we know that this is the beginning of the countdown to his leaving. I plan to take every photo opportunity while we are all together, for the next year that is what we will have to hold onto. To remember this trip even more I had t-shirts made for all 5 of us. I know it's a little corny and I am sure the kids will role their eyes and call me "that mom" (you know the mom who always makes the kids dress the same so they don't get lost), but this is for a different reason. This is our last trip together before this deployment, and who knows (as much as I don't like to dwell on the bad) it could be our last trip together. I want to make sure that we get everything we can out of the time we spend together.
I also took the opportunity to contact Operation Love Reunited, who got me in touch with a photographer who is going to do a photo shoot with the family - FOR FREE!!! We have NEVER had a professional photo shoot done (unless you count Sears Photo Studio) it will be a wonderful thing to have for each of the kids to have some great pictures with Sean before he leaves, something they can hold onto and look at each day to remember the love he has for each of them.
It's hard to believe that we are only 3-4 months away from his deployment. It seems like just yesterday I was saying it was 7 months away. Time is flying by. I am purchasing personalized journals for each of the kids in the hopes that they will take the time to write down how they are feeling to better cope with the deployment. I have purchased one for myself also, there are some things I just can't put out there for all of you to read. I remember the last time he was deployed and how lonely I felt, I am hoping that the journal will help ease some of that loneliness.
On top of helping myself and the kids get through this deployment, I have taken on the job of Chairperson of the Family Readiness Group for Sean's unit. This means that I will be responsible for keeping up the morale of the other soldier's families as well as my own, even if it is only for a 2 hour meeting once a month. I hope that focusing on the FRG Group, the kids and work will make the year fly by.
Until the next post - May God Bless and watch over all our military serving near and far and their families. <3
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Welcome to all
Thanks to a fellow Army Wife I found this blog site.
Most people think that the soldier is the one who goes through the deployment, those of us who are wives and family members of soldiers know that that is not true. Families members also go through that deployment, spouse & children, mother & father, aunts, uncles, cousins & friends. We all go through deployment in our own way. Our soldiers have the hardest job, they are on the front lines, fighting for their lives. Those of us left at home are fighting to be strong and keep our heads up.
This will be our second deployment with the National Guard in 3 years. We have been married for 11 years, together 12, we have 3 wonderful children who are a little older now and understand more of what deployment means. As a military spouse we have to be strong for our children, they are looking to us to guide them through this journey - although I have to admit sometimes you just want to put your head down and cry!
I am keeping this blog not only so give people a better understandings of the other side of deployment, the families side, but also to keep a journal for myself and for my soldier. this is a way for me to stay strong during our deployment, and to help our family stay strong.
May God Bless all of our Military personel and there families. Keep your head up. HOOAH!
Most people think that the soldier is the one who goes through the deployment, those of us who are wives and family members of soldiers know that that is not true. Families members also go through that deployment, spouse & children, mother & father, aunts, uncles, cousins & friends. We all go through deployment in our own way. Our soldiers have the hardest job, they are on the front lines, fighting for their lives. Those of us left at home are fighting to be strong and keep our heads up.
This will be our second deployment with the National Guard in 3 years. We have been married for 11 years, together 12, we have 3 wonderful children who are a little older now and understand more of what deployment means. As a military spouse we have to be strong for our children, they are looking to us to guide them through this journey - although I have to admit sometimes you just want to put your head down and cry!
I am keeping this blog not only so give people a better understandings of the other side of deployment, the families side, but also to keep a journal for myself and for my soldier. this is a way for me to stay strong during our deployment, and to help our family stay strong.
May God Bless all of our Military personel and there families. Keep your head up. HOOAH!
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