Deployment day is almost here....
The words anyone facing a deployment hates to hear. Sean is less then 20 days away from deploying for 12 months. My living room and bedroom looks like the Army threw up all over the place. There are footlockers, ruck sacks, uniforms, kevlar and alot of stuff everywhere. This means that the day is that much closer. Sean is packing.
There is alot of tension and stress in the house. Everyone, even the kids, are on edge. There are times when he is gathering his items together, it is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. There are others when he stress takes over and voices are raised at each other. These are things that I have learned come along with the deployment. There are moments of anger, sadness and jealousy. There are moments of closeness, of just a simple hand hold while watching a movie.
I have begun to get emotional, sometimes at the worst times. I can be driving down the street when a sad song comes on the radio and the tears start pouring down my face. I am trying to be strong when Sean is around, I don't want to him to see me fall apart, but it is not easy. Sometimes I just lay in bed at night and listen to him sleep just because I can - at least for another few weeks.
I am proud to be the wife of a Soldier!
I am proud of the job that my husband does - even though it takes him far from home for a long period of time.
I am proud of my children who are handling this so well.
We will have bad days, days where the tears will flow endlessly.
We will have good days, days where there will be laughter, smiles and joy.
There will be nights where I won't mind when the kids want to climb into bed with me, it comforts me just as much as them.
There will be days that I don't want to get out of bed.
But I will.
I will go on.
I will be strong for my kids.
I will be strong for my husband.
I will be strong for myself.
We will all make it through this deployment, each doing our part. So for now, I will enjoy watching and listening to Sean sleep (yes even listening to him snore), I will enjoy holding his hand, I will even enjoy the arguements that come because soon I will be wishing he was there to argue with, and I will thank God for every day we have together. These memories are what will get me through the next 12 months.
So in a few days we will have his going away party. Our friends and family will gather and we will eat, drink and dance the night away. Everyone will wish Sean a safe journey and a speedy return. So for now, that is far ahead as I am looking. When the celebration is over, then I will focus on the next step - the day he leaves.
